"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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