i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
