I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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