you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
