Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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