Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
