That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
