I CAN MOONWALK!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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