I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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