During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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