cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
