does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
