So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
