so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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