Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
