Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.