Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Whod you bang
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Randomize
Follow @tfln