The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries