I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
