did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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