Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
