That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just invented taco cereal.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
