Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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