I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
