So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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