Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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