I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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