lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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