just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
