I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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