there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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