I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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