Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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