I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
how does that bad decision feel?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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