At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
