Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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