That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
