I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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