lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
