i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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