You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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