It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
