I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
