Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
false alarm, still single
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
