So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
