I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
there was a trapeze. enough said
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
