Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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