Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just cropdusted the office
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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