you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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