I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
