how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize