just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
