does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
