All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
