Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
