I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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