Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
