just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
