Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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