Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
